I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize