i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
