Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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