I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
