I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
