Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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