Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
