They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
