Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize