He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
