There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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