I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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