just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
