i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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