i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Im part way to drunk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
