Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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