when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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