I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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