no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
