her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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