he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
