READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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