i already hear my dad disowning me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
