I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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