summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Randomize
