I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
