last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So squirting runs in the family.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
