My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i think my cat just said my name.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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