He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
