I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish you could order shots online.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize