I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
