Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
