Quick, to the slutcave!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
