I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
