party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I look better un-naked...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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