R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
