help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
