He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Apparently you make a good broom.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
