in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
