I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
