He told me they were just razor bumps!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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