There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
