i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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