porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
