Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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