would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
