dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
