all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We smell like vodka and hangover
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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