Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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