i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
