It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
