then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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