i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
oh god the rape fog is back!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
