We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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