a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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