He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dignity is for republicans.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
