Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
