Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize