things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
