"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Blood and glitter go together right?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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