I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
