you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
