I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
