My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Go christen that room with your naked body.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
