I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
