bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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