I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm passing your future prison.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
