there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
